“I don’t know why you care so much. Just let me get drunk and high and forget about me. I...
Beast of Burden in Brevard FL
“I don’t know why you care so much. Just let me get drunk and high and forget about me. I am never going to be able to stay sober anyway.”
You don’t have the ability to stop anyone from loving you or wanting the best for you. That is a decision that we as your family, friend, co-worker, or even counselor/therapist have. Regardless of your loss of hope and fear of failure, we can decide to embrace the faith that things can and will be different for you. How long we do this for and at what cost is something entirely different. That is the Beast of Burden in Brevard FL.
There have been many individuals blessed with recovery as a result of people loving them when they couldn’t or wouldn’t love themselves. Knowing this allows us who work with addicts to feel hopefull for anyone suffering. Should anyone judge who can or who will get sober? There are many that think they can determine such things by patterns of behavior or attitude, but I caution such thinking. You may find more peace, compassion, patience, and ability to support when you simply do your part minus the judgment. Your part as the support system is one aspect and the addicts part is another. Both vital and necessary for healthy recovery.
What we often find is that the addicts’ friends and family do less for themselves than what they do for the addict, and that is when it can become harmful. The best support system maintains adequate care of themselves and establishes their own network to monitor possible enabling or counter productive actions. Remember, the healthier you are, the better support you are.
For the addict, you may think that you are more of a burden because you keep promising and failing. However, failure is a part of success and as long as you are still breathing you have an opportunity to die sober. Many would call that a victory regardless of the length of time accumulated prior to that date. I’ve often witnessed the most strung out get it and the most functional not. This disease doesn’t get it’s reputation from being picky and exclusive. It can find it’s way in to any family and person. The more you as the addict criticize yourself for having it the harder it will be to overcome it. The sooner you accept it’s presence and power, the sooner you can develop and implement the winning team and strategy.
Just as your loved ones and friends can’t get you to stop using by begging or threats, you can’t stop them from loving you thru it. Just like you feel that they don’t understand what you are experiencing, you don’t understand their experience either. You may have trauma or loss associated with your using.
They too are having trauma and loss while you are in this battle. You may feel powerless over the cravings and desires to use. Those that care about you are powerless over your path and pain associated with it. You may sometimes wish to end it all and die thinking that it will never be different. They eventually reside to knowing that this will one day may be the answer to resolving your pain, but that they will carry the pain from that day forward. Or together you can end the downward spiral and start the healing process. It has been done…So it CAN be done.
There are millions before us that would love to have another chance at it. For them, for you, and for the millions after…live. Not by chance, but by choice. Make all the pain worth more than just the beginning of a lifetime of pain for us. Allow it to morph into hope for those just like you in the future. Somewhere is someone just starting to get high, and he or she is going to need you. Going to need your hope, strength, story, and support. If not you…who?